A proposal

It would be useful if, at the peak of one’s existence, a loud, sustained cymbal could be heard by that person and that person only. Kind of, “Oh, this is it? This is as cool as I’ll ever be? Guess I can stop trying after tonight. Just glide into the grave as smoothly and gracefully as possible.”

It might spare us, collectively, from visual torture at the hands of certain people: aging trophy wives, pot-bellied former frat boys, leathery local newscasters, carrot-skinned guidos, etc. Some individuals would surely attempt to persevere after they’d heard it, but I think the cymbal would help them accept the futility of their actions and thus curb their antisocial efforts safely and quickly.

Of course, it would form a new order of faux-pas at parties: “Hey did anybody else just hear that crashing sound? It sounded just like a cymb…oh. Never mind. Damn.”