The Porn Myth

[Andrea Dworkin, anti-porn activist] was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

Re-discovered this five-year-old article today. I call bullshit.

Like any internet-savvy male, I’ve seen a lot of porn. Tons of it. All those fake tans, fake eyelashes, fake breasts and fake moans have caused me to value—no, worship—authenticity. Perhaps I’m an exception to the rule or part of a small minority, but I rank recently-mainstream Jenna Jameson alongside unfuckable B-list celebrities like Tara Reid or Amy Winehouse. Walking disasters.

I met Aria Giovanni in person a few months before this article was published. Her makeup was mask-like, visibly stiff . It stood out from her face 1/8th of an inch. Maybe it was a formative moment for me; recalling the experience makes me think about the uncanny valley.

In high school, already porn-addled, I didn’t shrink from my first girlfriend’s (unexpected) happy trail or her unkempt bush. I embraced them. These days, I smile when I see stretchmarks in a photo.

Isn’t the search for authenticity a prominent theme these days? Isn’t it visible in the popularity of Trader Joe’s and products wrapped in golly-gee, faux-earnest packaging? I think about these things and am unsurprised when I see commentators like Vice and Bonerparty making ‘wifeability’ the gold standard.